Shavuot

  Chag Sameach! Well, Shavuot happened a few days ago. (Weeks ago...) Gatherings at the temple were my first Jewish experiences coming back from our trip, and I was eager for them.

I checked the temple's website and discovered there would be a prayer service on the first night of Shavuot, after which the congregation would split into study sessions, meet for cheesecake, and one last study session. I was somewhat nervous about it; people from other congregations would join ours, and I had never had cheesecake before, and it would be my first scripture study in person! It seemed like a lot, but I had been away from the Jewish community for so long, because of school, and then I got sick, and then we left on a trip. So I made the decision to go, I tapped the 'Register' button dramatically hard and wrote down my info.

I sat in the sanctuary at my usual place for Shabbat, everyone greeted each other 'Chag Sameach' instead of 'Shabbat Shalom,' and we followed the Yom Tov part of the siddur. During candle lighting cantor mistakenly began to recite the blessing for Shabbat but corrected quickly, everyone chuckled. The breakaway lessons were discussing the Book of Ruth, interfaith encounters and a Talmudic character, and a discussion about revelation, covenant, and political theory. Being Shavuot I was eager to learn more about the book of Ruth. And for my second session, I wanted to know what a study session was like with my Rabbi so I attended his discussion about revelation at Sinai.

I learned early on that Ruth is a very important convert to Judaism, she said those beautiful words to Naomi which underscored her commitment to her mother-in-law. During the lesson, we established that Ruth's commitment was not just to stay with Naomi, but it represented her commitment to the entire Jewish people, her newfound family. We learned that she could have just stayed in Moab but decided to go with Naomi to Beit Lehem and that despite her being a Moabite, her relative Boaz respected her. In a sort of midrash, we imagined what caused Ruth to exclaim: "Your people shall be my people, and your G-d my G-d." She had been part of Naomi's family for years, she had married one of her sons, and she spent time with them observing their holidays, getting to know their beliefs, and perhaps falling in love with them. I didn't say much in the discussion besides introducing myself at the start. We had to mention something we liked about Torah; I said I liked finding stories where I can see myself, and can relate.

The time for the first sessions was over and everyone rushed into the meeting hall for cheesecake. There were so many types, I didn't know which one to pick. I went for some grapes, a muffin, and a small cheesecake with an Oreo on top. It was very cramped, I sat at a table that managed to stay open, though other people quickly joined. An old lady seemed surprised that someone my age would go to such an event alone, I mean, I guess its quite unusual. Perhaps I'm expected to be out partying with friends, but that's not my definition of having a good time. Eventually, the conversation led me to reveal that I'm not Jewish yet and that I'm still converting. I was not ready for her to ask, but she wondered why I was converting. I began to explain but, it was so loud I could barely hear myself, and I still had so much food to get through before the next session. Another person came in and began talking with her and she stopped paying attention to me altogether. I hurried to eat and slid out of the table quietly. My Rabbi called for people who wanted to attend his session to follow him, but I still had to get rid of my dirty plate. By the time I had dumped it, I had lost sight of him and had no idea where he was. Suddenly, a woman on her way out stopped to greet me. I think was the Spanish convert I mentioned some posts ago, she appeared equally friendly but I couldn't remember her face, which happens frequently. I pretended to act like I knew her while still attempting to dig out any memories that would help me remember who she was. Beginning to feel overwhelmed, I nervously asked her if she knew where Rabbi had gone. She accompanied me to the hall in a section of the temple I had no idea existed. I thanked her, and she left the opposite way she was originally walking out. I sat in the first available spot I saw, Rabbi was just about to get started. 

Sitting there I began calming down, I tuned out some and I cannot recall much of the talk except that people wouldn't know what to say when G-d's Name would come up in Rabbi's source sheet, and that when people sitting to my right had something to say everyone's heads would turn my way and that made me nervous for some reason. I remember Rabbi mentioning that the Israelites were standing at the foot of Sinai, but that the Hebrew actually says that they were underneath, which I had heard somewhere else. He said, "If the Israelites accept the Covenant then they live, if not..." He pretended to let go of something mid-air.

At the end of the session, I went to Rabbi to return my source sheets—I had accidentally grabbed two. On the wall I caught a framed yellow star; those which Jews were forced to wear during Shoah. I had never seen one in person. It was impressive, not that it was surprising to see it there, I just can't describe the emotion. About the darkest thing I've seen in person about Shoah is an an actual train carriage used to transport Jews to an extermination camp in a museum in Mexico City. There are also tiny clay models depicting people entering gas chambers and Nazis pouring something through a hole. At school, I was also taught very thoroughly in my opinion about Shoah; little me would have never imagined I would one day call myself Jewish (to be) and feel undeterred by antisemitism.

Anyway, I followed some people out and left. I sat in my car for a minute before driving back home. I felt really happy.

The next day was the Yizkor service, and the Temple's calendar mentioned Megilat Ruth would be read, so I thought I'd show up. The website said they would be starting 10:30 in the morning, I arrived 10:25, however, the congregants were already done with the Shema and were moving into the Amidah! I quickly sat on an unusual spot before more turning heads noticed me. This was my first weekday morning service; Torah, Hallel, everything. It was my first time hearing from the Torah in person, later I was wondering if the Aliyot had the skills necessary to recite at any time or if they practiced the Parashah beforehand. It seems difficult; no markings of any kind, even the font used is different. Megilat Ruth was not read after all, but the service still felt great, even with the mourning vibe.

And that was Shavuot, one more big Jewish holiday; I can't wait for the Days of Awe!