Tell Mom

“Okay, so, I played yesterday’s movie because I feel that I’m different, and I wanted to see your reaction.

I feel I might be autistic. Autism is a spectrum of traits that vary per person, not just varying degrees of ability. I have answered many screening tests, and the results suggest to seek help from a doctor. I am very thankful that what I may have is something called high-functioning autism, not as intense like the movie.

This might be the reason why I don’t have any friends. Why I don’t want to talk to anyone. Why whenever I go to school or outside I get nervous. And why I’m shy, even around you. 

But it is also why I get interested, and like learning so many things, like science, languages, robotics, art, and music. Why I am good with orientation and attention to detail. Why I hear and smell things others can’t, like the gas smell, and distant noises. Why I can come up with weird, but good solutions for problems. 

I didn’t want to believe the results at first, because I thought I could force myself to talk to people and stop being so shy. But I can’t. I feel my heartbeat race very fast when I’m answering a question at school, the only reason why I talk there.

But the more tests I answered, I became more convinced that there is indeed something wrong with me. Not very intense. But different from the rest.

Now that I know why I’m different, I can do things to help myself and get help from a professional.

Can we talk a little more about this? It might be a little hard for me though.”